Funny SMS

1. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot
tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

2. This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recordingdevice. After the tone, think about your name,
your number, and your reasonfor calling…. and I’ll think about returning your call.

3. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Pleasespeak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to
myself with one of thesemagnets.

4. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.If you are my parents, please send money. If you
are my bank, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So, leave a message.

6. Hi. Now YOU say something.

7. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

1. Which is the longest word in the dictionary? Smile ) b’se after S there is a mile.

2.”Malaimegam” kku opposit yenna? Ans: Malai may not come.

3.saapida yedhuvum soodaaga kidaikkaadha hotel edhu? Ariya bhavan

4.saradu vitte mele pona nadigar yaar? KAthadi ramamoorthy

5. ‘ujaalaa’ commercial ukku thaguthiyaana nadigar yaar? nadigai yaar? Vennira aadai moorthy and vennira aadai nirmala

6. vethilaiyudan seraadha paakku edhu? mysore paakku

7. Sardar 1: Naan torch lightai on panren. Nee athoda velichathai pidichundu eri chandranukku po.
Sardar 2: Sari. (Konjam yosichitu) Illai, naan maaten.
Sardar 1: Yen? Mudalil sari sollitu, pinnadi yen mudiyathnnutta?
Sardar 2: Naan paadi erum pothu, nee torch lightai off pannita, naan keezha vizhundruven illiya.

8. Which is the coolest alphabet in English? ‘B’. yennaa adhu ‘A”C’ naduvila irukku.

9. What is the negative word for “Subramaniam samy” Subramaniam did not see me.

10. What is common to robbers and tennis players ? They both involve rackets(racquets) and courts!

11. Omakuchi een olliya Irukkar? Ans : Athu Avar Ishtam.

12. Romba Naal Uyir Vazha enna vazhi? . saagaama irukkaNum

13. Kinnathula kallai pottal Aen Muzhukirathu? adhukku neechal theriyaadhu

14. Kakam Aen Thanneril Muzhugathu? . kaakkai karaiyum.

15. SVSekhar: Ennai kalyanam pannikO kalyanam pannikkOnnu rendu ponnunga en pinnadiyae suththarrAnga
Matraval: Appidiya! Yar avanga ?
SVSekhar: Enga ammAvum, aththaiyum.

16. Usha : Enga mAmAvukku oru periya major operation nadanthirukku
SV : Periya operationE major operation thAn
Usha : Ayyo, operation nadanthirukku SV : Oh, major illaiya ?

16. When did George Washington die ? Two days before his FUNERAL (He! He! …)

17. In a grocery store, a Sardarji was starring at an orange juice for couple of hours. You know why ?
Because it said CONCENTRATE.

18. What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? A MOSQUITO can FLY but a FLY cannot MOSQUITO!!

19. Q: What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY? A: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!

19. Pesrson1 : What is the opposite of PENGUIN ? Person2 : AANKING (!)

21 cinema paakka pona c-row la ukkara koodathu ? en ? front-la b-ro irukku… athu maraikkum

22. what is one word for “hold my cycle sir ?” encyclopedia

23. Taj Mahal Enn Azhukka Irukkunnus Solranga. Enna Athu Kullikirade Illai

24 .Pongalukkum Deepavalikkum enna difference? A1: Pongalai saappida mudiyum. Dheepaavaliyai saappida mudiyaadhu ??!!
A2: Deepavalinnikki Pongalai sappada mudiyum. Aana Pongal Innikki Deepavaliyai sappida mudiyathu

25. Oru roomla oru cornerla oru poonai irukku. Right cornerla oru Eli. Left cornerla oru cup milk. Poonaiyin kannu ethil irukkum ? poonaiyin kannu adhOda mugaththildhaan irukkum )))

26. poNNu pakka vantha paiyan sonnatha kettathum poNNU veettukkaaranga avanukku paithyamnu poNNu kodukka mattenuttaanga. Avan appadi enna sonnaan? ‘Naan konjam thaniyaa pesaNum.paravayillaiyaa ?’ nu sonnaan.

27. Ramarajan Hollwood padam paNNaa enna role paNNuvaar? ‘Cowboy’ – role

28. . Whiskeyum Brandhiyum kalyaanam paNNina enna aagum? ‘ThaNNi’ ‘kudi’ththanam nadaththum.

29. Coffee yen udambukku nallathu illai? Enna, Adhula rendu e erukku.

30. Coffee yai vida tea better. Yen? Teala oru e dhan erukku. Coffeela rendu e erukku

31. Muttai podum Manitha inam yethu ? Asiriyar enam? Particularly Kanakku Vaathiyaar.

32. Gandhi aen oru edathula nikkaama eppozuthum suththikkitte irunthaaru. avarthaan periya revolutionist aache

33. SVSekar aen eppavum thannoda gold chaina kadichchikitte irukkaaru? avar ‘nagai chuvai’ nadigar illaiyaa.

34. Hitchcock ai vita bayangaramaaga padam eduppathu yaar? nalla paambu

35. Q: heroine-ukku opposite? A : Hero Out ?

36. Why were Shiva and Parvati using the keyboard of the computer? ennA gaNapathi went away with the mouse.

37. Why is a calendar so sad? 1. Ani adikkaRadhAla 2. Because it’s days are numbered.

38. Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

39. Which runs faster, Hot or Cold? Hot, because anyone can catch a cold

40. If you send a mail through a dove and a quirrile ( Anil ) Which will reach first ? Why? Anil Yenna Pinkodu irukke !!!

41. Q : 500 rupees note la Ghandhi yen sirichitte irukkar ? A: Yenna Alutha nanainjudume !!!

42. Question: How can you drop a Glass but do not spill any water ? Answer: If you drop a Glass of Milk ….

43. Aravindasamy kku opposit yaar? aravinda ‘pisasu’ didn’t see me (or) aravindha ‘pisasu’

44. naan kadaila oru oosi vaanginen. aanaal, athu vedichiduchi..! yean? Neenga vangiyathu “Gundu” Voosi

45. oru samayam chera naadu chozha naattu mela padayeduthaanga. Aanaa, naattukkulla nuzhanchathum pinvaangitaanga. yaen? chozha naattula ‘pin’ romba cheap-aa kidichuthaam..

46. Yaanai thannila viluntha yenna agum ? Neer yanaiyayidum

46. Gokulashtamikkum communisathukkum enna commonality? Aha! Gokulashtami: kaal marks. Communism: Karl Marx

47. naadhaswara vidwan ‘pay hike’ venum-naa eppadi keppaar? 1. “pay hike vendum” endru vaayaal ketpaar 2. ‘oothiya’ uyarvu vendum endru ketpaar 48. ulagathileye periya ‘ladder’ ethu? handavaalam

49. Oru naal Kannagiyum Kovalanum Busla poyittu irunthangalaam. Avanga stop vantha odana Kovalan yerangittanam. Kannagi mattum yerangavemattennu pidivaadam pidithangalaam Yen? Kannagi padi thandatha pathini aache ! athanaal than irngale

50. Oru Boatla oru ponnu matrum niraiy paer porangha..Boat kavunthuduthu..yaellarum iranthudaraangha..aana antha ponnu mattum waterla mithakura…athu yaeppadi? Naattukkattai 51. gandhikkum ravi shastrikkum enna difference? Ravi Sastry is an off spinner. Gandhi was a kai-raattinam spinner?

51. What is the chemical hidden in these letters, HIJKLMNO Answer: Water (H to O) 52. Asoka the Grate emperor Kalinga sanndaiyil Yaen(Why) Pin(pinnadi) Vanginar. Sandai Podumbodhu Coat Button Arundhuduthu.Athan Pin vanginar.

53. Hi, One day Tamil teacher to Student Shyam : Oru Palamozhi Sollu Pakkalam. Shyam : ‘Aiyindil Valayadhathu Aiymbathil Valayuma’! Teacher : Good! paravaillayae Mela Sollu Pakkalam. Shyam : Aril Valayathathu Arubathil Valayuma! Ezhil Valayathathu Ezhbathil Vlayuma! and so on….

53. Sishyan: Guruve, sithi (moksham) adaiya enna seyya vendum? Guru: Sishya, mudalle sithappavai kolla vendum

54. Train kandupidikkalanna enna aagi irukkum?” “Thandavaalam (rail) waste aagi irukkum!”

55. can it rain continously for two days? Not possible. bcoz, a night will come inbetween 55. Yaanaikku madham pidithaal enna seyyum ? Piditha madathil serndhuvidum.

56. “Oru tailar-ai thittinaa avan enna seivaan?” “Sattai (shirt) panna maattaan!”

57. “Oru naaikku (dog, my favourite!) saappaadu pottaanga. Udane athu maayamaa maranjidichi… ean?” “Saappaattula kal (stone) irundathu!”

57. Kamal comedy actor aanaal avar peyar enna ? Kamal “HaHa” San.

58. Kadalan kadaliya paartha udane yen poi pesukiraan ? Avan “Mei” marandhuvittan.

59. Dina Thandhi paper-a Fan-kku adiyila ninnukittuthaan padikkanum. Yen ? Soodaan seithigal iruppadhal.

59. Weak-aana politician yaar ? “Soni”a Gandhi 60. Usilai Mani ilaithuvittal enna avaar ? Usilai mini aavaar Kaunda Mani-kku piditha vilaiyattu edhu ? Foot Ball. Lovers-kku piditha naadu edhu ? Pa”kis”than Koottam-ulla naadu edhu ? “Rush”ya

61. Paattikku oru kaal odinja enna aagum ? Patti.

62. Hindu paper mattum yen romba weight-a irukku ? Adhu mel yaanai iruppadhaal

63 . ‘Gandhi’ padathai tamil-la eduthaa enna peru vaippaanga? “Aatthaa sudhandiram kedachiduchi!” Telugu? “Borbandar rowdy!” Hindi? “1947 A *TRUE* story!” Malayalam? “Mohandasin oru kashta kaalathu!” (mookkinaal padikkavum

64. Spin Bowlarruku pen kuzhandai perandal enna payru vaipar? Tiruppra Sundari

65. Independence day-kkum Republic day-kkum yenna vidyasam? Sumar, aaru maasam

66. Oru annanum thangachchiyum oadi varranga. Annan maelmoochu vangaraan. Thangachchi? Ava Female moochchu vaanguvaaa

67. Saathukkudi pazhathai sappida mudiyaathu, why? Adhuthaan Saathu’kudi’ aache!

67. Romba neelamaana pazham edhu? Naavalpazham (‘Novel’ pazham)!

68. yen manaivi vayil pudavai dhan kattuva (aachariyamaga)yellarum iduppula dhane pudavai kattuvanga

69. Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

69. One day Mr. X seriously went to the backyard of his house and started trying to shake the well (kinaru) before taking a tonic. B’cos in the tonic bottle it’s written as “Shake well before use” !!!

70. Mr X went for an interview. The interviewing officer took a pen and kept it in MrX’s pocket and asked him, Mr X ” where is the pen?” Mr X replied ” in the pocket” Good. The interviewing officer took back the pen and kept in his pocket and asked MrX, Mr X ” where is the pen now? Mr X replied ” antha pocket” Actually , he was answering him in tamil. romba kadiya?

71. One day Mr.X’s little son was filling up an application and asked Mr.X what to write in the “Mother Tongue:….” field. Mr.X simply said ‘write approximately 6cm’

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world’up over’?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?

Day light savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4′s”?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How can there be self-help “groups”?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing ,”Happy Birthday?”

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?

If cats and dogs didn’t have fur would we still pet them?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of ?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do theymake fog horns out of?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” whenwe are already there?

Why is the time of day with the slowest trafficcalled rush hour? 1

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* * * * * *

TO LOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
“What’s the problem?”asked the doctor.
“I’m 2400 kms from home.”

* * * * * *

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: “Can I take this train to Ludhiana?”
“No,” answers the Railway man.
“Can I?” asks Gani Singh.

* * * * * *

A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him “kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai” Sardarji replies “Aadmi hoon aur akkal
hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata ”

* * * * * *

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks “kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?”
Sardarji replies “Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun”

* * * * * *

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So,
when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home,he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.Said his wife “What’s the matter?” Replied he “The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else”

* * * * * *

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing;what are you thanking God for ?” The sardarji replied “Iam thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn’t riding the
donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.”

* * * * * *

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate “Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?” ”
Aah,Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the planet is chinese. 1

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar have “TGIF” written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

* * * * * *

How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

* * * * * *

Why can’t Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone

* * * * * *

How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* * * * * *

“Oh, look at the dead bird.”
Sardar looked skyward and said “Where, Where?

* * * * * *

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * * *
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

* * * * * *

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

* * * * * *

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don’t have to re-train them on Monday.

* * * * * *
Why can’t Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

* * * * * *

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

* * * * * *

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

* * * * * *

What do you see when you look into a Sardar’s eyes?
The back of his head.

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh (‘T’ silent!).

* * * * * *
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!

* * * * * *

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, “Oh..we’ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?” That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh plied, “No problem! we’ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we’ll automatically get developed.” All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy. The surd replied, “OH! THAT’S ALRIGHT BUT…WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????”
=============================================

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this small TV,” he told the salesman. “Sorry, we don’t sell to SARDARs,” he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” Salesman replied. “Damn, he recognized me,” he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. “I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed “How do you know I’m a Sardar?”
“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * * * * *

How do you measure a Sardar’s intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

* * * * * *

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

* * * * * *
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy….he’s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

* * * * * *
Sardarji is buying a TV. “Do you have color TVs?
“Sure.”
“Give me a green one, please.”

* * * * * *

Sardarji calls Air India. “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”
Just a sec,” says the rep.
Thank you.” says the Sardarji and hangs up.

* * * * * *
EMPLOYMENT..

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column “Salary Expected” :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes
Then he came to the column “Sex” : Without much thought he wrote : Twice a week

CROCODILE BOOTS..

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims “71st and *again* barefeet!”

* * * * * *

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos flask.” The sardar then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.” The sardar says, “I’ll take it!” The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, “What is that shiny object with you?” He said, “It’s a thermos flask.” The boss then says, “What does it do?” He replies, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” The boss said, “Wow, what do you have in it?” The sardar replies, “Two cups of coffee and a coke.”

* * * * * *

A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like “Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai ”

* * * * * *

What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!

* * * * * *

1) He spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said, “concentrate.”

2) He puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.

3) He gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

4) He sends a fax with a stamp on it.

5) He tries to drown a fish.

6) If you gave them a penny for their intelligence,you’d get change.

7) He trips over a cordless phone.

He takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

9) At the bottom of the application where it says”Sign Here” he put “Sagittarius”.

10) He takes 2 hours to watch “60 minutes”.

11) He invents a solar powered flashlight

12) He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home,so he moves.

13) He misses the 14 Bus, and takes the 7 twice instead.

14) He takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said,Airport left”, and he turned around and went home.

15) He got locked in a furniture shop but sleeps onthe floor.

Distinguishing India’s different cultures

MALAYALEES
One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.
Two Malayalees is a boat race.
Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.
Four Malayalees is an oil slick.

TAMILIANS
One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.
Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.
Three Tamilians is a classical music school.
Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

ANDHRAITES
One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.
Two Andhraites is a spice shop.
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.

BENGALIS
One Bengali is a sweet shop.
Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.
Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group.
Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.

RAJASTHANIS
One Rajasthani is a cattle-seller.
Two Rajasthanis is a mason.
Three Rajasthanis is a puppetry outfit.
Four Rajasthanis is a dance-drama.

GOANS
One Goan is Remo Fernandes.
Two Goans is a Feni distillery.
Three Goans is a football club.
Four Goans is an all-night-long party.

MANGALOREANS
One Mangalorean is a betel-nut seller.
Two Mangaloreans can’t stand one another.
Three Mangalorean is a Udupi restaurant.
Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.

BOMBAYITES
One Bombayite is a hawker.
Two Bombayites is a film industry.
Three Bombayites is a bustling slum.
Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.

MAHARASHTRIANS
One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor.
Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi player.
Three Maharashtrians is a pickle factory.
Four Maharashtrians is a Cricket Team.

GUJARATIS
One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train.
Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train.
Three Gujaratis is a Co. in itself
Four Gujaratis are crying on Share Scam

SARDARJIS
One Sardarji is a truck-driver.
Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba.
Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit.
Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.

SINDHIS
One Sindhi is a currency racket.
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop.
Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around (yeech!).

BIHARIS
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste killing.
Four Biharis is the total literacy rate in the state.

BHAIYYAS
One Bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two Bhaiyyas is a chanawala (or panipuri wala).
Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad.
Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.
(And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL, happy family).

KASHMIRIS
One Kashmiri is a boatman.
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency.
Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.

KANNADIGAS
One Kannadiga is a coffee estate.
Two Kannadiga is a Udupi restaurant.
Three Kannadiga is a pepper powder factor.
Four Kannadiga is an anti-Cauvery squad

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.”

This theorem can now be supported by mathematical proof based on the following two postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Since Knowledge = Power, then Knowledge =Work / Time.

Since Time = Money, then Knowledge =Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get Money =Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity,regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

What do you say?????????

1 Aao chat kare
2 Programmer no 1
3 Aaj ka body shopper
4 Programmer,recruiter aur bodyshoper
5 Badalate platforms
6 Kahani Keyboard ki
7 Memory aur hard disk
8 H1 ko aane do
9 Mouse ka gulam
10 Java wale job le jayenge
11 Skill apana apana
12 Hum aapke meomory mein rahate hain
13 Do processor barah terminal
14 Password Apana Apana
15 Hum Hai Programmer Oracle ke
16 Ek programmer do body shopper
17 H1 se Citizenship tak
18 Mera code chal gaya
19 Har Din jo mail Karega
20 Mera Resume Kora kagaj
21 Khel Virus ka
22 Virus Aur Antivirus
23 Programmer bane Bodyshopper
24 Network Ke Uss Paar
25 Billing aur Salary
26 Platform platform ki baat hai
27 Anjaana Bug
28 Aayi Production Ki Bela
29 Do Gateways
30 Debugging koi Khel nahi
31 Helpdesk ki Aatma (Ramasay bandhu ki Horror film)
32 Mera naam developer
33 Kaho na Bench hai
34 Crash kar di aaapne
35 Mein backup lunga
36 Pati patni aur computer
37 Deployment ki raat
38 Hum WALK-IN ja chuke sanam
39 Dhai akshar HRD ke
40 Jis Desh mein Bill (gates) rahata Hain
41 Hum To US jaayega
42 Aa ab KUCH KAAM kare
43 Raju ban gaya IT MAN..!
44 Dekhte Dekhte Connection mil Gaya
45 Iss Bench ki subah kab hogii
46 Client ek numbari PROGRAMMER Dus
47 Nambari
48 Login karo sajana
49 Ek Thi vacancy
50 Interview ke Sapane
51 Naukar PC ka
52 Mera Resume Mera Skill
53 Hackers ke Site par Hacker
53 Experience Bina H1
54 Firewall (Diwar)
1

1. RAM Thediya Engineer
2. Chinna Mouse Periya Mouse
3. Aathaa Naan Java Certificate Vaangitten
4. En System En Folder
5. Mouse Magesan
6.Login Aagaamal Ulle Vaa (peiy padam)
7. Mail Anuppa Neramillai
8.Paar Monitor-ai Paar
9.(Java) Padithaal Mattum Podhuma
10.(EJB) Padithu Vaazha Vendum
11.Dbase-ilirundu Oracle Varai
12 .Thudikkum (Mouse) Pointers
13.Saranam Internet (Bakthi padam)
14. Mouse Koduppaal GUIaambaal (Meena/KRVijaya (GUIaambaal) )
15. Ithuthaandaa Program (Telugu Dubbing)
16. PM-aa Irundaa Enakkenna (Telugu Dubbing) (PM = Project Manager)
17. Vaishnavi MCA (Vijayashanti)
18.1000 Dollar Vaangiya Aboorva Bench Mani
19.Linkaagatha Code-um Linkaagum
20.10-m 10-m 100 (Binary)
21. Manathil Logic Vendum
22. Code-kkul Bug
23. Aval oru Programmer
24. Ulagam Suttrum System Analyst
25. Thedi Vanda Consultant
26. Thottathellaam Dollar-aagum
27. Engalukkum Offer Varum
28. En Rasavin Mouse-ile
29. Nalla Mouse-kaaran
30. Mouse-ae Mouse-ae
31. Mouse-kkul Matthapu
32. Click-ae Thudikudhu Mouse
33. Veetle Desktop Velile Laptop
34. Mouse En Kaiyil
35. Internet Oiyvadhillai
36. Oru Mouse -in Sabadham
37 .Oracle Appadithaan
38 .Naan Keyboard illai (adichaa)
39 .VB koadu Oracle Tharuven
40 .Connect Aagatha Modem-um Connect Aagum

Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
Because they are stupid.
What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them for ever.
If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane,which one would hit the ground first?
Who cares.

What did God say after he created man?
I can do better than this.
What’s the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
I don’t know, I’ve never seen either.

What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
i) no mind ii) no business

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because even back then men wouldn’t ask for directions.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
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