Funny SMS

Santa Ka Beta Pappu Ek Baar Apne Dosto Ke Saath Cricket Khel Kar Aaya.
Santa Ne Poochha, “Kitne Run Banaye Tumne?”
Pappu Bola, ” Century Hone Mein Sirf 100 Runs Baaki Reh Gaye They, Ki Itne Mein Main OUT Ho Gaya….”

Santa apni girl friend ko ‘I Luv U’ kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
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Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
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Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto.
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’?

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
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Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
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Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
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Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
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A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
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At the scene of an accident, a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
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In an interview:

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated…
He drank poison & said: Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Captain of Military: Naujawano, aage bado…
(Santa aage nahin bada)
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa apni khoobsurat Bivi k saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bivi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
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Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: King Ashoka’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Ashoka’’s skeleton when he was child
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Napoleon: There is no such word as ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi …!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
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Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: ‘Le Karle Number Note’
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Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo. Maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Santa Ka Beta Pappu Ek Baar Apne Dosto Ke Saath Cricket Khel Kar Aaya.
Santa Ne Poochha, “Kitne Run Banaye Tumne?”
Pappu Bola, ” Century Hone Mein Sirf 100 Runs Baaki Reh Gaye They, Ki Itne Mein Main OUT Ho Gaya….”

Legal Voting Age 4 Boys-
18yrs..

Legal Marying Age 4 Boys-
21Yrs..

Wat Is Proved?

“Its Tougher 2Control A Wife Dan A Country”!

Aaghane ayirikumo?!

FLASH NEWS

Nale harthal..

Tintumone teacher thalliyathil pradhishedichu nale harthal aajarikkumennu all kerala nursery students association ariyichu.
By sam

The youth nw a days became bad & hopeless!
Wen I was in church,I saw a boy lighting a cigarate frm candle
I was shokd &dropd my….

beer bottle down..Gd mrng

Flash News; Mun Mukyamandriyum Muthirnna Congress Nethavumaya K.KARUNAKARAN (92)Thrisurile swantham Vasathiyil vachu innu raavile 7.15nu Kattan Chaya kudichu..

Thengil ninnu thenga veezhum,mavil ninnu mangayum,ennal plavil ninnu planga veezhumo?
Lunch boxil lunch vekam ennal school bagil school vekamo?
Bus stopil bus va rum ennal fulstopil full varumo potte oru pint enkilum varumo?

“Wish U a Happy Married Life.!!”

In advnce

Remmbr I’m d 1st person 2wish U..

I know its too early..
Bt,

Annu msg offer illenkilo..?

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here…

2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask…

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout…it’s just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes inAfrica marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. ..

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your officeasks.. .

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it’s a miracle ………..it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!