Funny SMS

Ummido ki shama dil mein mat jalana….
huzefa se alag duniya mat basana…
waise aaj mood main hu to sms kar diya …
par roz intezaar mein palke mat bichana..

Sms har pal karu to shararat hogi,
har din karu to paresani hogi,
kabhi kabaar karu to kanjusi hogi,
par dil se karu toh aapko khushi hogi.

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad,
just a radio with a sports car around it.

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie,
Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me…
But U have Crackjacked my Heart,
Bcoz I have a Little Heart,
Now I m in 50/50 position…

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.

Rajnish Purohit

1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she’ll always have a boyfriend to confirm that

2. the nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!

3. The more the makeup, worse the looks…

4. “99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.”………… …..100% true

5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.

6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..

7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she’ll want to be friends with you.

8. Theory of relativity.. ….

The more u run towards a hot chick….the more she goes away from u…

9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone… just when you are about to let her know about your feelings…she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-

1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day

11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.

12. the more seriously u like a girl…the more seriously her dad will hate u

13. the love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you.

Sahiba _ SILLY

Nanad Ne Bhabhi Simaran Se Puchha- “Bhabhi, Aap Hamesha Hi Sidhi Maang Kyo Nikaalti Hai?”
“Taaki Mera Dimag Baraabar Bantaa Rahe.” Simaran Boli.

Moti Pinki Ke Sath-Sath Chala Aa Raha Bachchaa Phul Dekhkar Achanak Ruk Gaya.
Pinki Ne Pyar Se Puchha- “Beta! Tum Ruk Kyo Gaye?”
Bachche Ne Ek Nazar Pinki Ke Bhari-Bhaarkam Sharir Par Daali, Phir Samkuchakar Bord Ki Or Sanket Kiya- “Pinki Ne Bord Ko Dekha, Jis Par Likha Tha- “Bhaari Vaahano Ko Pahle Jane De.”

Chintu Ke Putra Ne Chintu Se Kaha- “Papa ! Sadak Banane Me Kin-Kin Chijo Ki Jarurat Padti Hai?”
Chintu Bola- “Aaj To Tune Sawal Puchh-Puchhkar Tang Hi Kara Dalaa. Yadi Itne Hi Sawal Maine Apne Papa Se Kiye Hote To Janta Hai Kya Hota?”
Putra Ne Kaha- “To Aapko Mere Kuchh Sawalo Ke Jawab Dene Aa Jate.”

Kaksha Me Padhaate Samay Adhyapak Chintu Ne Chhatro Se Puchha- “Bhumikar Aaykar Ke Alavaa Aur Anya Kar Ka Naam Bataao Bachcho.”
Ek Chhatra Ne Utar Diya- “Ji Sunil Gaavaskar.”

Mastar Chintu Ne Puchha- “Bachcho, Yah Kitab Kiski Hai?”
Bachcha Bola- “Sar Kagaj Ki.”
Chintu Mastar Ne Kaha- “Yah To Muje Bhi Pata Hai.”
Bachcha Bola- “Fir Puchh Kyo Rahe Hai?”

-Rajnish Purohit

School
A place where Parents pay and children play

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Dictionary
A place where success comes before work

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Father
A banker provided by nature

Criminal
A person no different from the rest
…except that he/she got caught

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after

DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise

HEIGHT OF CHALLENGE
Sardar left exam papers blank & wrote at end ‘Dum hai to pass karke dikha’

Sardar 1 : HARBHAJAN male or female?
Sardar 2 : Female
Sardar 1 : How ?
Sardar 2 : Oye!! just now comentator told “A wonderful delivery by HARBHAJAN”

Dog was following sardar. Sardar laughed.
A man asked ‘ Why are you laughing ?
Sardar replied ‘ Oye I have put Airtel sim but Hutch network is
following!!! !’

A Sardar declares:
I Will never marry in my life & I’ll advice the same to my children too’

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Interviewer : Do you know MS Office?
Sardar : If you give me address I can find it ?????

Sardar was writing the Passive voice of ‘I MADE A MISTAKE’
Answer : ‘I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE’

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from Auto,
Man asks Sardar, ‘Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?’
Oye! Cant u read ‘Parking for Two Wheelers only!’

Once Sardar was very hungry…. Went to a hotel he took only tea
without having food…
Guess why ??? Hotel Kamath …. (Kha Math)

Sardar was driving his car too fast. His friend asked why are you
driving so fast. Sardar said break failure yaar…
I want to reach home before accident…!!

Key boardla key irrukkum;
Aanaa motherboardla mother irruka mudiyaathu!

Tool boxla toolsa parka mudiyum;
Aanaa match boxla matcha paarka mudiyaathu!

South India-la Narthangai kidaikkum;
Aanaa North India-la Southangai kidaikkumaa?

Cyclela poana cycling,
Trainla poana training-a?

Meen pidikiravana meenavan-nnu sollalam
Appo maan pudikiravana maanavannu solla mudiyumma?

Bus stop kitta wait panninaa bus varum – anaa
Full stop kitta wait panninaa full varumaa ?
Nallaa yosinga. Quarter kooda varaadhu!!!

Ennathaan ponnunga byke ottinaalum
Hero Honda, Heroine Honda aagumaa ?
Adhu pola enna thaan pasanga vendai kaai
Saapittaalum Ladies finger gents finger aaghumaa ?

Bill Gates oda paiyanaa irundhaalum
Kazhithal Kanakku podum podhu
Kadan vaangi thaan aaghanum.

Golusu pottaa satham varum anaa
Satham pottaa golusu varumaa ?

Seruppu illaama naama nadakkalaam
Anaa naama illaama seruppu nadakka mudiyumaa ?

Ilaneerilum thanni irukku
Bhoomiyilum thanni irukku
Adhanaala ilaneerila bore poda mudiyumaa ?
Alladhu bhoomila straw pottu urinja mudiyumaa ?

Ungal udambil kodikkanakkaana cell irundhaalum
Adhil oru cellil kooda sim card pottu pesa mudiyumaa ?

Chairman chair mela ukkaralaam;
Aanaa watchman watch mela ukkaara mudiyumaa?

Paaku marathula paaku irukum,
Thaeku marathula thaeku irukum,
Aanaa panamarathula panam irukaadhu!

Ennadhan aeroplane maela parandhaalum,
Petrol poda keelathaan varanum!

Evvalo kaasu kuduthu planela ponaalum,
Jannala thiranthu vedikkaa paarkka mudiyaathu!

Brush vachu pallu clean pannalam;
Aanaa pallu vachu brush clean panna mudiyathu!

Idli podiya thottu idly saappidalaam;
Aanaa, mookku podiya thottu mookka saappida mudiyuma?

Pallu valina palla pudungalam;
Aanaa kannu valina kanna pudunga mudiyuma!

Pant pottu mutti poda mudiyum;
Aanaa mutti pottu pant poda mudiyuma?

Hotella kaasu illainaa mavvaatta solluvaanga; Aanaa, busla kaasu illana
bus ota solluvangala?

Sun TVla sorgam paarkkalaam;
Aanaa, sorgathula Sun TV paarka mudiyumaa?

Arisi kottina, vaera arisi vaangalaam;
Paal kottina, vaera paal vaangalaam;
Aana, thael kottina, vaera thael vaangamudiyumaa?

Files naa ukanthu paakanum;
Piles naa paathu ukkaranum

Nee evalo periya padipaaliya irundhalum
Exam hall la poi padikka mudiyadhu!

Kovil maniya namma adichaa saththam varum; Aanaa kovil mani nambala
adichaa raththam dhaan varum!

Meluga vachchu melugu vathi seyyalam;
Aanaa kosuva vachchu kosu vathi seyya mudiyathu!