PROFESSOR :
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI :
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh
nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

______________________________

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj
se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI :
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

______________________________

MAMU :
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

_______________________________

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera
sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI :
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

______________________________

__

MAMU :
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI :
Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU :
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne
lagay ga.
_______________________________

PROFESSOR :
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

______________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole
toh Baelgaadi.

________________________________

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an
Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended
and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN :
What is that?
CIRCUIT :
Air India

________________________________

CIRCUIT :
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU :
Nehin.
CIRCUIT :
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

____________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU :
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI :
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

____________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU :
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI :
Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?

______________________________

MAMU :
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST :
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

________________________________

CIRCUIT :
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT :
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

________________________________

PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd
time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu