Thu 9 Apr 2009
Distinguishing India’s different cultures
MALAYALEES
One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.
Two Malayalees is a boat race.
Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.
Four Malayalees is an oil slick.
TAMILIANS
One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.
Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.
Three Tamilians is a classical music school.
Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.
ANDHRAITES
One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.
Two Andhraites is a spice shop.
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.
BENGALIS
One Bengali is a sweet shop.
Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.
Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group.
Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.
RAJASTHANIS
One Rajasthani is a cattle-seller.
Two Rajasthanis is a mason.
Three Rajasthanis is a puppetry outfit.
Four Rajasthanis is a dance-drama.
GOANS
One Goan is Remo Fernandes.
Two Goans is a Feni distillery.
Three Goans is a football club.
Four Goans is an all-night-long party.
MANGALOREANS
One Mangalorean is a betel-nut seller.
Two Mangaloreans can’t stand one another.
Three Mangalorean is a Udupi restaurant.
Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.
BOMBAYITES
One Bombayite is a hawker.
Two Bombayites is a film industry.
Three Bombayites is a bustling slum.
Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.
MAHARASHTRIANS
One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor.
Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi player.
Three Maharashtrians is a pickle factory.
Four Maharashtrians is a Cricket Team.
GUJARATIS
One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train.
Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train.
Three Gujaratis is a Co. in itself
Four Gujaratis are crying on Share Scam
SARDARJIS
One Sardarji is a truck-driver.
Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba.
Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit.
Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.
SINDHIS
One Sindhi is a currency racket.
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop.
Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around (yeech!).
BIHARIS
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste killing.
Four Biharis is the total literacy rate in the state.
BHAIYYAS
One Bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two Bhaiyyas is a chanawala (or panipuri wala).
Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad.
Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.
(And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL, happy family).
KASHMIRIS
One Kashmiri is a boatman.
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency.
Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.
KANNADIGAS
One Kannadiga is a coffee estate.
Two Kannadiga is a Udupi restaurant.
Three Kannadiga is a pepper powder factor.
Four Kannadiga is an anti-Cauvery squad
