Funny SMS

FIve Steps to a Lovely Morning

5 steps to a LOVELY MORNING

Close ur eyes,

Take a deep breath,

Open ur arms wide,

Feel ur heartbeat,

& Say ” Its too early.

Let me sleep again.”

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.
There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea. He saw a pack of stones to pass time.
He started throwing the stone into the sea.

While having the last stone in the hand, the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond and all the stones he threw were diamonds as well.

He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea…

Moral of the story: Below
************ *************

Never get up early in the morning!!!

Ultimate lesson in
English Grammar :
If more than One
Mouse is Mice; then,
more than One Spouse
is Spice.!
Enjoy a ‘SPICY’ Life.!.!

* The owner of a company tells his employees:
You worked very hard this year. The company’s profits increased
dramatically.
As a reward, I ‘ll give everyone a check for Rs 5000.
If you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks.

* 1st thief, “Police! Quick! jump out of the window!”
2nd thief, “But this is the 13th floor”
1st: “Hurry! This is no time to be superstitious”

* Eve to Adam: Do you love me?
Adam nonchalantly: Who else?

* A Girl: At weddings old aunts used to tease me saying “You are next, you
are next.”
But they stoppd it since I started doing the same to them at funerals…! !

* Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”

* Q: Why was math book depressed?
A: It had nothing but probs.

He came at night
He came at night,
Explored my body,
Got on top of me,
Touched me,
He bit, sucked swallowed &
When he was satisfied
He left, i was hurt,
Bloody mosquito!

Love for a reason
Perfect love is not phone calls and stolen kisses,
Its the silent smiles in memories of ur sweetheart.
Perfect love is not flight-kiss and make-up,
Its loving the one who annoys the hell out of you.
Love for a reason ,let the reason be the love and love only?

Ouch i fell from bed
Oops!?.Ouch i fell from bed
Trying to reach my phone just 2
Say sweet dreams 2 u. Sleep tight

Wrestling with a pig in mud
Arguing with ur wife is like wrestling with a pig in mud,
After sometime u realise that u r getting dirty & pig is enjoying it.

Friendship is not a game to play
Friendship is not a game to play,
It is not a word to say,
It doesn?t start on march and ends on may,
It is tomorrow, yesterday, today and everyday.

You are at top of my sweet list
I,m sorry i won?t be able to chat 2 u anymore?

My Dr. Says i should avoid sweet stuff?
And you are right at the top of my sweet list!

I hurt you?
I hurt you?
But I didn?t mean to?
Please forgive me!

Everyone wonders why
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why

You?ve graudated
You?ve graduated?

Its? time for you to:

- Live it up
- To smile
- Take a bow

And time for me to say?
Congrats!
Way to go and WOW!

Pay the bill
I would love to take u for dinner,
Make u sit beside the candle,
Shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words
in your ear?
?Pay the bill?

Who can?t be happy without u
Don?t only be close to someone who makes u happy,
Be close to someone who can?t be happy without u.
It makes a lot of difference in life.

Tortured students become? Engineers
Heated gold becomes ornament,
Beated copper becomes wire,
Depleted stone becomes statue,
Tortured students become? Engineers!

Marriage is an eye opener
Love is Blind
But marriage is an eye-opener.

You are heart of life?
Birth is the start of life,
Beauty is the art of life,
Mystery & risk are part of life,
But true friends like you are heart of life?

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well…Enough about ME! How about you?

Headache
From Mon to Sun,
From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death,
my feelings for you have never changed. For me, you’ve always been………..
“A Headache”!

PARACETAMOL
Last nite i wanted u. needed u so badly dat it hurt. wanted 2 taste u. i wntd u in me so u could work ur magic on me… but i couldnt find u. u stupid….
PARACETAMOL..

GooD News 4u!

rent free accomodation

(khana,peena,sona,rahna)

every thing is free

4more detail…..

just dail 15…..

call bhi free hai…

when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 rings means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ……..pick d phone idiot!

Today is the death anniversary of POPE JOHN plzz switch of ur mobile 4 two minutes for due respect n send this mssg to any 1 criminal as i did

Rain Rain
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn’t it rain on you?

a stupid guy: “Excuse me sir, what time is it?”
MAN: “It’s 3:15.”
a stupid guy: (puzzled look on his face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just
wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait….Searching….searching…still searching….sorry, NO BRAIN found…!

I like Kids. But I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
He slides up to the bar and says: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
“101 Ways to Wok Your Dog”.

What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell….she’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.