Funny SMS

Aapko Diwali Mubarak Ho,
Aapki Diwali Mangalmaye Ho..
Kintu Parantu ..I know its 2 early
Bt I have thousands of beauties, hotties and smarties to wish…
So I thougnt to finish AunTies & UncLes 1st…

Hutch is Now Vodafone. Naam badal gayaa.
Company badal gayi.
Pink se Red ho gaye.
Lakhon Rupaye lag gaye,
fir bhi…
Rahe Kutte ke Kutte hi…

Girl’s Attitude?
when boy doesn’t look at her she says
KUTTA dekh bhi nahi sakta….
But when boy looks at her she says,
DEKH KAISE KUTTON ki tarah dekh raha hai….

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Vari Varsi Khatan Gaya Si,
Khat Ke Leyanda BUTAA,
Tussi ratti sutte reh gaye,
Tuhaddi Chummi le gaya KUTTA. Oye Balle Balle Balle……

************ ********* ********* *******

Pati – Darling salon pehle tumhara figure coke ki botal ki tareh tha.
Patni – Ab bhi waise hee hai. Bas pehle botal 300ml ki thi, ab 2 LITER ki hai..

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samundar bhar syllabus hai,
nadi bhar padte hai,
bucket bhar yaad rehta hai,
mug bhar likhte hai,
chullu bhar marks milte hai,
jisme doob ke marte hai..

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zakham dene ka andaz kuch aisa hai,
zakham de kar kehte hain, ab haal kaisa hai?
kisi ek se gila kya karna yaaro,
puri duniya ka mizaaz hi ek jaisa hai……..

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NASA ne 3 Sardar Chand pe bheje.
Rocket uda par aadhe raaste se vapas aa gaya!
Jab sardaro ko pucha to bole : aaj amavas hai.. chand to hoga hi nahi!!

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Father: Beta tune college me sabse mushkil kaam konse shikhe?
Beta: Maine 2 Muskil kaam sikhe. 1) Dantoon se beer ki bottle kholana, 2) Tez aandhi main 1 maachis ki tili se cigrete jalana.

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Chand par kaali ghata chaati to hogi,
Sitaron mein Chamak aati to hogi.
Tum lakh chupao Duniya se, magar akeley mein
tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to Hogi.

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Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai

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Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
COMA se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya.
************ ********* ********* ********* *

Aap itraate bahut ho dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Sochte hai apko Dinner per le jaye,
Par kya kare hamara iraada badal jaata hai,
kyunki tum khate bahut ho…!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ***

Apne roop par itna ghuroor na kar,
sab 2 din ki masti hai,
Tera husn bhi tab tak qayam hai,
jab tak
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Fair & Lovely sasti hai.

************ ********* ********* **

You = cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar

************ ********* ********* ********

Teri ma di…
Teri piyo di…
Tere behn di….
Tere pra di….
Teri bhabi di…
Tere poray khandan di…
Te meri v….
Tu “Jaan” hay

************ ********* ********* ********

Dil ki yeh khawaish hai mein tere ghar aaon,

Tere ghar aaon,
Tere ghar aaon,

Baar baar aaon,

Har baar aaon AUR …

Bell baja kar bhaag jaon
************ ********* ********* ******

Agar aap khubsoorat banna chahtey ho to yeh parho

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Arey arey yeh kia itne saloon main nahi hua to ab kia khubsoorat bano gay

Let me Draw your Face!
Don’t Move!
Nearly Finished!
Ok! Wana Look?
*****
‘(0..0)’
“(—)”
Hai main mar javan, Kinney Sonay ho Tum.

1.Premika–Ae bewafa tune sabkuch saaf kar diya mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya.
Premi–Teri kurbaani bekar nahi jayegi,bhej de rakh bartan majne k kaam aayegi.
2.1 mulla ki shaadi nahi ho rahi thi, Wo mannat mangne gaya.Waha uski maa khai me dir gayi….Mulla bola__Ya khuda teri khudi, Apni to mili nahi_ Abaa ki bhi gawai.
3.Bijli + Barsaat = Savan aaya,
Barsaat + Baaja = Dulha aaya,
Phool + Nazaare = Vasant Aaya,
Aap + Aap ki hansi = Bhaago-Bhaago Bhoot Aaya.
4.Husband Wife ghumne gaye, raste me ek dgadha ghaas khata mila, Wife boli- O G Tumhara rishtadaar ghaas kha raha hain, Namaste karo.
Husband- Namaste sasur ji.
5.Santa Banta se puchta hain,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?” Banta kehta hain answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh do, paas karke dikha.
6.D Best example f laziness
Boy- Papa 1 glass pani de do ,
Papa- Khud le lo, Boy- plz de do.
Papa- ab mango ge to thapad doonga.
Boy- Jab thapad dene aaoge to paani lete aana!

* A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house… still he was in jail…….why? coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

* Suraj bana tu badal banay,chand bana tu taray banay,husn bana tu deewanay banay.kuch tu hai baat aap mai.yun hee tu nahi pagal khanay banay…:D

* Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja! Girl: Sandal utaaroon kya? Boy: Aray pagli, yeh koi mosque thodi hai, aise hi aaja!

* Roshni dayker doob jana koi suraj se seekhey.. Dil dai ker dard lena ki humse seekhey.. kuch na deyker Dil lena koi unsey seekhey.. SMS leker REPLY na kerna koi Aapsey seekhey

* Kiya ap kay sir per seengh hain?no r u sure?plz check again.no ,ok no problem waqie Gadhay kay sur per seengh nahi hotay

* aik bandar ka bacha apni maan say: maa main itna badsurat kyon hoon maa beta khuda ka shukar karo usay dheko jo message pardh raha hai

* Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo, Pyar nahi to shikayat kiya karo, itna bhi gair na samjho k baat hi na kiya karo, phone nahi to sms hi kiya karo

* Hum dono main cute kon smart kon dashing kon sweet kon handsome kon yeh sab tum tow hoo nahe saktay tow bachaa kon…

* Wafa Main Ab Ye Hunar Ikhtiar Karna Hai,
Woh Sach Kahe Na Kahe Aitebar Karna Hai.
Yeh TujhKo Jagte Rehne Ka Shauk KabSe Hua,
Mujhe To Khair Tera Intezaar Krna Hai.
Khwabon main ayenge SMS ki tarah.
Dil main bas jayenge ring tone ki tarah,

* jam kerwa hai magar itna nahi k pia na jaye,
zindagi main dard hai magar itna nahi k jia na jaye,
sms kerny per paisay lagtay hain magar itney nahi kay kia na jaye;)