Funny SMS

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

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2. Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a 5 day test match.

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3. Marriage: It’s an agreement in which the man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gains her master’s.

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4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

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5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through “the minds of either”.

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6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

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7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in? such a way that everybody believes, she got the biggest piece.

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8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which the masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

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9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage and success before work.

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10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everyone disagrees later on.

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11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

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12. Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.

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13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

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14. Office: A place where you can relax from the strenuous home life.

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15. Yawn: The only time some married men get to open their mouth.

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16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

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17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

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18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

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19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

1. If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside.
So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don’t walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don’t care who rules the world!
That’s called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said , he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He’s now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

What a Crazy Year…
The Fastest Man and
Woman in the world
are Black,
Wimbledon Ladies
was painted Black,
Tiger woods is still
the Golf Don,
F1 showed a Black Man
can drive fast and
Not be Arrested,
And the White House
is now Black.
And
They said the Revolution wouldN’t be Televised…

which habit of the galz irritate boys most?

1)Over fashionable

2 )Make up

3)Pretend to be innocent

4)Moody attitude

5)Show attitude

6)Laugh loudly

7)Over frankness

8)Witty attitude(shokhiyan)

9)Set dopatta by seeing them

10)Pose to be unaware of thier presence

which habit of the Boyz irritate Girls most?

1) If u treat Him Nicely ,he says u r in love with Him.

If u dont ,he says u r PROUD

2)If u Dress Nicely,He thinks u r trying 2 LURE Him.

If u dont,He says u r from VILLAGE

3)If u Argue with Him ,he says u r Stubborn.

4)If u Keep Quiet,he says u have No Brains.

5)If u r Smarter Than him,he Will lose Face.

6)If u dint love him,He tries 2 Possess U.

7)If u Love Him ,He Will Try 2 Leave YOU(Very True Huh…..)

8)If u Tell him ur problem,he says u r troublesome

9)If u Hurt him,u r Cruel And If He Hurts u ,u r too Sensitive.

10)If u Flirt with Him,u r Bad And If a guy Flirts wid a girl Den he is Good..

11)If u Tell These Points 2 a guy they ill Swear dat its Not true…nd if u dont share The above points they ill say dat u r selfish.

If a girl laughs loudly,, she?s cheerful,,
If a boy laughs loudly,, he?s mannerless!

If a girl talks sweetly,, she?s charming,,
If a boy talks sweetly,, he?s flirt!

If a girl is shopping,, she?s trendy,,
If a boy is shopping,, he?s wasting money!

If a girl is silent,, she?s feeling sad,,
If a boy is silent,, he?s being rude!

If a girl walks in a group,, it?s a group,,
If a boy walks in a group,, it?s a gang!

If a girl can?t come 4 a date,, she?s shying,,
If a boy can?t come 4 a date,, he?s lying!

Home is where you hang your @.

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

Great groups from little icons grow.

Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

C: is the root of all directories.

Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.

Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

The modem is the message.

Too many clicks spoil the browse.

The geek shall inherit the earth.

A chat has nine lives.

Don’t byte off more than you can view.

Fax is stranger than fiction.

What boots up must come down.

Windows will never cease.

Virtual reality is its own reward.

Modulation in all things.

A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

There’s no place like home.com.

Know what to expect before you connect.

Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.