Funny SMS

1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…

2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot
pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?

3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!

5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.

6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

7) They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense

8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
“What other problem can there be greater than this one?

9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then…
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?

10) Teacher: Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student: MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA

11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti

13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

14) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

15)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

Love Aur Arrange Marriage Main Kya Faraq Hai?
Love Marriage Main Aap Apni Girlfriend Se Shadi Kartay Hain.
Aur
Arrange Marriage Main
Kisi Aur Ki Girlfriend Se.

Mountain Dew’s New Advertisement.

Lets KISS BOY/GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF DAD..
Darr Sabko lagta Hai,gala sabka sukhta ha..
DARR MAT DARO DARR KE ANGHE JEET HAI

Ummido ki shama dil mein mat jalana….
huzefa se alag duniya mat basana…
waise aaj mood main hu to sms kar diya …
par roz intezaar mein palke mat bichana..

Sms har pal karu to shararat hogi,
har din karu to paresani hogi,
kabhi kabaar karu to kanjusi hogi,
par dil se karu toh aapko khushi hogi.

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad,
just a radio with a sports car around it.

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie,
Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me…
But U have Crackjacked my Heart,
Bcoz I have a Little Heart,
Now I m in 50/50 position…

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.

Rajnish Purohit

Nanad Ne Bhabhi Simaran Se Puchha- “Bhabhi, Aap Hamesha Hi Sidhi Maang Kyo Nikaalti Hai?”
“Taaki Mera Dimag Baraabar Bantaa Rahe.” Simaran Boli.

Moti Pinki Ke Sath-Sath Chala Aa Raha Bachchaa Phul Dekhkar Achanak Ruk Gaya.
Pinki Ne Pyar Se Puchha- “Beta! Tum Ruk Kyo Gaye?”
Bachche Ne Ek Nazar Pinki Ke Bhari-Bhaarkam Sharir Par Daali, Phir Samkuchakar Bord Ki Or Sanket Kiya- “Pinki Ne Bord Ko Dekha, Jis Par Likha Tha- “Bhaari Vaahano Ko Pahle Jane De.”

Chintu Ke Putra Ne Chintu Se Kaha- “Papa ! Sadak Banane Me Kin-Kin Chijo Ki Jarurat Padti Hai?”
Chintu Bola- “Aaj To Tune Sawal Puchh-Puchhkar Tang Hi Kara Dalaa. Yadi Itne Hi Sawal Maine Apne Papa Se Kiye Hote To Janta Hai Kya Hota?”
Putra Ne Kaha- “To Aapko Mere Kuchh Sawalo Ke Jawab Dene Aa Jate.”

Kaksha Me Padhaate Samay Adhyapak Chintu Ne Chhatro Se Puchha- “Bhumikar Aaykar Ke Alavaa Aur Anya Kar Ka Naam Bataao Bachcho.”
Ek Chhatra Ne Utar Diya- “Ji Sunil Gaavaskar.”

Mastar Chintu Ne Puchha- “Bachcho, Yah Kitab Kiski Hai?”
Bachcha Bola- “Sar Kagaj Ki.”
Chintu Mastar Ne Kaha- “Yah To Muje Bhi Pata Hai.”
Bachcha Bola- “Fir Puchh Kyo Rahe Hai?”

-Rajnish Purohit

Sunsaan sarak k sookhay hoi peepal Ki
Tuti Hui Tehnee k
Murjhaye Hue Pattay Pay Baithay Hue bhoot
Kay Pair Say Nikaltay Hue Khoon
Kay Beemar Bacteria…. ……..HOW R U?????
………… ……… ……… ……… ………
Bewafa Tum Ho To Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Besharam Tum Ho To Sharmile Hum Bhi Nahi,
Pyaar Ke Is Mode Par Aake Kehte Ho Shadishuda Ho
To Kya Hua Darling…Kunware Hum Bhi Nahin!
………… ……… ……… ……… ………
Baba Ramdeve said,
{sabha mein} ketane logo ne apana wait kam kiya hai.
One women- Baba maine, do din me 10 kg loose kiya.
Baba-kaise, sabako bataoo.
Women- main pregnent thee dilevery ho gayee
Ha……ha.. ……… ..ha….. ..
……….. ……… ……… ……… ………
If vivek marries Aishwariya and becomes a “joru ka gulam”
What will he be called?
Vivek-Obey-Rai !!

Botal chupa dena kafan mein meri,
Shamshan mein piya karunga,
Jab mange ge hisab khuda..
To unhe bhi ek peg bana kar diya karunga

Banta- Biwi agar husband
ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna chaahiye.?
Santa- Zyada kuch nahi,
do char ghar aur pakad
lene chaahiye.