Funny SMS

Love letter & its reply

Rahul — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:57:54 +0000

Love letter its reply…..!!

My Darling

Most worthy of your estimation, after a long consideration and much meditation, I have a strong inclination to become your relation.

As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication, that I have passed my matriculation, no doubt without any hesitation and very little concentrated preparation. What you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the population of the present generation.

On your approbation of this application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration and commiseration, it will be an augmentation of the joy and exultation of our joint dissimulation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion.

I remain,
A victim of your fascination

THE GIRL REPLIES

Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,

Congaratulations for your lengthy narration, of course, full of affection, aimed at an affliction for a combination, which on examination, I find it a fine presentation of your co-operation, but your inclination to become my relation should embrace more qualification so that you may reach high position.

You have passed the matriculation examination with little concentration and preparartion. What about my graduation after much concentration and botheration? So improve your situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation, the minimum qualification for the consideration of our marriage celebration. After your education, attend the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation, undergo beautification.

Further, strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for determination of our relation:

1. Consultation with my parents before approaching for any connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of “any other” fascination, and
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of solid action of continuation of proper conversation.

Unaffected by your affection

Funny Onam SMS

Rahul — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 17:07:25 +0000

Oru full bottilum oru litre sodayum pinne oru chickanum, thottunakkan acharum, Manassil orupadu pratheekshayumayi veendum oru onam varavaayi !!!!

See How Life Is In Customer Support !

Rahul — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 15:45:49 +0000

This is a conversation between a customer and tech representative over phone.

Cust : I am not able to open microsoft paint in my computer
Tech : Please press windows key + r
Cust : yeah i have got small run command window, you have to type MSPAINT
Tech : Please type M
Cust : ok
Tech : please type S
Cust : ok
Tech : please type p
Cust : sorry
Tech : p , p on your keyboard
Cust : NO i cant Pee on my key board

A hobby of book reading!!

Rahul — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:02:25 +0000

Firstly,DIS-advantages of reading a book(Based on what most of em think)
1)Sleep travels faster than mind,as soon as we open a book.
2)Many of them think book reading is a waste of time…….and so on…

I have a friend who is not at all interested in reading books and when i asked him why is that so he just gave me an interesting answer.He said,right from the time we get up to the time we sleep everything happening with us,everything we see,everything we hear is a story.When we sit with friends,we talk all type of masala which when formed or framed can be concluded as a story.What lecturers teach us is a story.What the government is doing is a story and the opposition finding their fault is another story.Actually he feels it as an interesting story.More over there are many news hungry channels when we watch show us at least 15 stories per day. When we have so many stories revolving around us each day what is the need for us to go into a store find a book for ourselves get the book home find time to read it?was his argument.
I find no reason to accept what my friend said.He is right.After all i am no one to force a person asking him to jump into a hobby of reading books.This is one phrase.BUT BOOKS ARE JUST NOT STORY BOOKS.FICTION AND NON FICTION STORIES ARE JUST A PART OF BOOK READING.THERE IS MUCH MORE WHAT BOOKS CAN DO.

Each and every person has one or more interests.They are the better judges in fact the best judges of themselves.Eg:Some people like gossips.When u like such(gossips) things i just ask y do not you just go n buy such(gossip) books????Gossip was just an example.Gossip can be replaced with culture,stocks,politics,sex,girls etc…Why do you want to depend on others to say something or give information on a topic in which you have more interest?SIMPLE LOGIC..ISN’T IT?

Eg:My friends say i analyze things nicely and put them in a simple way.I KNOW I AM,though i am not a master in it.Whatever feels me interesting or whatever i feel like writing i blog it.I do not wait for my friends to come to me and say,”hey today every one is suffering from obesity y dont u analyze it”?rather i would feel proud to analyze things even before my friends think of them and rather I say to them,guys i have written a blog on obesity.please go check it.I have taken myself just as an example.NOT FOR GAPPE MARNA OR DRUM BAJAANA OF MYSELF.

So,what i say is just google your interest and go through the wikipedia.ITS MUCH HELPFUL.
We have played a lot of cricket in the form of ONE DAY BATTING for exams.We all are experts in one day batting.
At least now lets give time for books.
AT WEEKENDS I MEAN FRIDAY N SATURDAY NIGHTS WE ARE BUSY PARTYING,
SUNDAYS WE DONT WANNA DO ANYTHING ON THAT DAY.
MONDAY FRESH DAY FOR OUR JOBS SO WE STAY LITTLE ZIGGY.
Y NOT GIVE TIME FOR YOUR FAVORITE TOPIC AT LEAST 30 MIN ON TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY NIGHTS?

I.E ONLY 4 HRS A MONTH?
WHICH IS ONLY 208 HRS A YEAR WHICH MEANS APP.9 DAYS A YEAR??
COMMON GUYS PLEASE GIVE THIS VALUABLE 10 DAYS TIME/YEAR TO BOOKS WHICH PLAYED A KEY ROLE IN BRINGING US UP AS WELL ALONG WITH PARENTS!!!!

CHEERS!!!!!!

Difficult Questions – Easy Answers – How many can you solve ?

Rahul — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 04:48:07 +0000

1. What goes up and down stairs without moving?
2. Give it food and it will live; give it water and it will die.
3. What can you catch but not throw?
4. I run, yet I have no legs. What am I?
5. Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red.
6. Remove the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, throw away the inside.
7. What goes around the world and stays in a corner?
8. What gets wetter the more it dries?
9. The more there is, the less you see.
10. They come at night without being called and are lost in the day without being stolen.
11. What kind of room has no windows or doors?
12. I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I?
13. I look at you, you look at me, I raise my right, you raise your left. What is this object?
14. It has no top or bottom but it can hold flesh, bones, and blood all at the same time. What is this object?
15. The more you take the more you leave behind.
16. Light as a feather, there is nothing in it; the strongest man can’t hold it for much more than a minute.
17. As I walked along the path I saw something with four fingers and one thumb, but it was not flesh, fish, bone, or fowl.
18. What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
19. I went into the woods and got it, I sat down to seek it, I brought it home with me because I couldn’t find it.
20. What can fill a room but takes up no space?
21. It is weightless, you can see it, and if you put it in a barrel it will make the barrel lighter?
22. No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?
23. Only two backbones and thousands of ribs.
24. Four jolly men sat down to play, And played all night till the break of day. They played for cash and not for fun, With a separate score for every one. When it came time to square accounts, They all had made quite fair amounts. Now, not one has lost and all have gained, Tell me, now, this can you explain?
25. Jack and Jill are lying on the floor inside the house, dead. They died from lack of water. There is shattered glass next to them. How did they die?
26. Why don’t lobsters share?
27. A barrel of water weighs 20 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 12 pounds?
28. Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, Even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
29. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
30. He has married many women but has never married. Who is he?
31. If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
32. If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it?
33. You can’t keep this until you have given it.
34. Take off my skin, I won’t cry, but you will. What am I?
35. What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it? You can’t buy it in a bookstore or take it from the library.
36. What can go up and come down without moving?
37. What do you fill with empty hands?
38. What do you serve that you can’t eat?
39. What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don’t want to use it?
40. What goes up and never comes down?
41. What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
42. What has to be broken before it can be used?
43. What kind of coat can be put on only when wet?
44. What question can you never answer “yes” to?
45. What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
46. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white?” or “The yolk of the egg is white?”
47. You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?

Answers
1. Carpet
2. Fire
3. A cold
4. A nose
5. A match
6. Corn
7. A stamp
8. Towel
9. Darkness
10. Stars
11. A mushroom
12. A sponge
13. A mirror
14. A ring
15. Footsteps
16. Breath
17. Glove
18. River
19. Splinter
20. Light
21. A hole
22. Silence
23. Railroad
24. Four men in a dance band
25. Jack and Jill are goldfish.
26. They’re shellfish.
27. Holes
28. A kitchen strainer
29. She lives in the Southern Hemisphere.
30. A priest
31. None.. Roosters don’t lay eggs.
32. A secret
33. A promise
34. An onion
35. A telephone book
36. The temperature
37. Gloves
38. A tennis ball
39. An anchor
40. Your age
41. A yardstick
42. An egg
43. A coat of paint
44. “Are you asleep?”
45. To hold cows together
46. Neither, the yolks are yellow.
47. A telephone

Enjoy jokes about the famous Malayalam film actor Jayan.

Rahul — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 15:56:37 +0000

# Oru muthalaye kittiyirunnengil malpidutahm nadathamaayirunnu !

# Onnu bhoomi kulungiyirunengil thullichadamaayirunnu !

# Oru kambipara kittiyirunengil onnu pallukuthamaayirunnu!

# Oru road kittiyirunengil Thara Para ezhuthi padikkamaayirunnu!

# Oru thengu kittiyirunengil otichu nakku vadikkamaayirunnu !

# Jayan had a fight with the villain and lost one of his teeth. Then he sings a Hindi song. Can you guess the song?
Jenu eku pal nahim aur koi hal nahim Saiyoni

# Randu moonnu idly kittyirunengil shirt nu buttons pidippikkamaayirunnu!

# Jayan jumped off from a flying plane and landed on rock.
He says “Plane il ninnu chadiyappol oru parayilanu veenathu. athukondu onnum pattiyilla. Kadalil veenirunnengil shirt um pants um ellam njanjenne” !]

# Randu moonnu aannaye kittiyirunengil ammanam adamaayirunnu !

# Jayan entered Seema’s Home. He says to Seema “Seema door adaykanda, ente pants pirake varunnundu” !

# Jayan is being questioned on a train tragedy.
He explains “Attayanennu karuthi chavittiyathu train-il aayirunnu”

# Theeppettiyanennu karuthi pants te pocket il eduthittathu cement chack ayirunnu!

Things You Don’t Want To Hear During a Surgery

Rahul — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 16:21:21 +0000

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

- Hand me that… uh… whatever it’s called !

- Oh no! I just lost my watch.

- “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”

- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

- Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

- There go the lights again…

- Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ‘em.

- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

- Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing my concentration off.

- What’s this doing here?

- I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.

- That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

-You sure it wasn’t this leg?

- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

- Are his relatives waiting outside?

- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

- Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.

- What do you mean, “You want a divorce”!

- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

- This scissor looks rusted.

- Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

- Isn’t this the one with the really lousy insurance?

- Now from where did this spider come in from.

Husband Wife Jokes (Desi)

Rahul — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:36:48 +0000

1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…

2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot
pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?

3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!

5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.

6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

7) They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense

8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
“What other problem can there be greater than this one?

9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then…
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?

10) Teacher: Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student: MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA

11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti

13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

14) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

15)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

Latest Tintumon Jokes SMS Collections

Rahul — Fri, 28 May 2010 14:22:00 +0000

teacher- ” why are you under tension? did you forget ur hall ticket?
tintumon- ” no”
teacher- ” ” ID or calculator..?
tintumon- ” no teacher, by mistake i bought tomorrow exam’s bit today…!!!
`
Music Teacher:Tintumone sangeetham ullil ninnum varanm ketto
Tintumon: Ullil ninnum varanam ennu ellarum parayum ennal ullilekku enthenkilum poyo ennu arum chodikkilla…
`
Ambalathil ninnum vanna Tintumon: ammayude peril oru pushpanjali kazhichu
Achan: Appol ente perilo?
Tintumon: Ramettante kadayilninnum porottayum chikanum kazhichu…
`
Adhyapakan: tintumonu neendhal ariyamo??
Tintumon: illa
Adhyapakan: kashtam pattikalkupolum neenthal ariyam, pattikal ninnekalum enthu bhedhamanu
Tintumon: mashinu neendhan ariyamo??
Adhiyapakan: pinne ariyam…
Tintumon: appol pattiyum mashum thammilentha vethiyasam…
`
Tintumon doctorude aduth
Tintumon :doctor njan 7 manike onnine povum
Doctor:athinentha?
Tintumon: Njan8 manike randine povum
doctor:so,athe elavarum cheyille.
Tintumon:bbut,njan 10 manika eneekkunne…
`
Wife : Purakil erikkunnavan enne thondunnu.
Tintumon : Nee onnu thirinju nokku.
Wife : Enthina ?
Tintumon : Ninthe montha kandal pinne avan thondilla!!!

Funny SMS in Malayalam

Rahul — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:41:06 +0000

Kamuki: Ente achan naale chetante veettilottu varum. Chettane athyavasyamayi onnu kaananamennu.
Kamukan: Enthina… nammude vivahathe kurichu samsaarikkanano?
Kamuki: Alla chetta, ente vivahthinu kshanikkaanaa.
`
Kamukan: Priye, namukkinnoru sinimakku poyalo?
Kamuki: Athokke vivahathinu sesham mathi chetta
Kamukan: Annu ninte bharthavu athinu sammathikkumo?
`
Syamala kamukanodu: Enthu paniya kanichathu? Sandhyamayangunpam varaamennu paranjittu ippam pathirathriyayallo?
Kamukan: Ente bharya ‘Sandhya’ mayangiyathu ippozha priye
`
Kamuki: Chettanu vendi enthum upekshikkan njan thayyara
Kamukan: Enkil njan nine kettumennulla pratheeksha upekshichekku.
`
Poovalan: Njan bhavathiye vivaham kazhikkan agrahikkunnu.
Yuvathi: Pakshe njan thannekkal oru vayassinu moothathalle.
Poovalan: Oho, enkil njan adutha varsham varam.
`
Kamukan: Darling, ninnodulla sneham enikku purathu kanikkanavunnilla.
Kamuki: Athorthu chettan vishamikkenda. Oru moonumasam koodi kazhinjal athu naatthukarkkellam kanaavunna vidhamakum.
`
Kamukan: Priye, nee premikkunna adyathe purushanano njan?
Kamuki: Theerchayaayum, pakshe ellavarum ithe chodyam thanne entha chodikkunnathu?
`
Kamukanum kamukiyum thammil pinangi.
Kamukan: njan ninakkayacha premalekhanangal thirichu tharoo
Kamuki akathupoyi oru chakkeduthu kondu vannu kathukal nilathu kudanjittu. Ennittu paranju: ithil ningal ezhuthiyathu ethanennu vachal nokkiyeduthukondu pokkoloo…
`
Kamuki: Chettan innale bike vangunna koottathil enikkoru maala vangitharamennu paranjittu thannillallo.
Kamukan: tharaam.. bikil aadyamayi poyi pidichu parikkunna maala ninakka…
`
Gulfil ninnethiya kamukanodu kamuki: Njanennum ningalude hrudayathilundakumennu paranjittippol avide mattoruthiye prathishtichirikkunnu. Neecha
Kamukan: Kshamikkanam, gulfil vachu ente hrudayam matti vakkal sasthrakriya nadanna kaaryam than arinjille?
`
Kamukan: Theegolangal panju vannalum kodunkatthu veesiyadichalum njan nine swanthamakkum.
Kamuki: Naale varumo chetta?
Kamukan: Nokkatte, mazhayillenkil varam!
`
Penkuttiyude achan: Nee ente makalumayi pranayathilayittu ethra kalamaayi?
Kamukan: Moonu maasam
Achan: Njanengane viswasikkum?
Kamukan: Oraaru maasam kaathirikkoo… thane viswasam varum.
`
Kamukan: Priye, nee nannayi padunnundu.
Kamuki: Ayyo, njan verum bath room singer aanu.
Kamukan: Ennal pinne namukkonnichu paadiyalentha?
`
Kamukan: Neeyente jeevithathile sooryaprakasamanu…
Neeyillatha jeevitham meghavruthamanu…
Ente hrudayathil neeyoru kulirmazhayanu…
Kamuki: Ithentha proposalanno atho weather report?